Being a parent is not easy, especially when it comes to feeding our kids. We want to do what’s best for them both in the short-term and the long-term. We’ve all heard of different tactics to use to encourage eating, such as not allowing them to leave the table until they’ve finished their meal or rewarding a child for eating a certain food, but are they ever actually effective?

The Division of Responsibility is a theory coined by childhood feeding expert, Ellyn Satter. The theory acknowledges the responsibilities of feeding for both children and parents. Parents are responsible for what to provide, when to serve it and where it will be eaten, while the child is responsible for how much they will eat and whether or not they will eat the food served.

At mealtimes, an encouraging eating environment with no pressure should be provided. Statements such as “Just one more bite” or “Only 1 cookie” can often do more harm than good when it comes to helping your child develop a healthy and positive relationship with food. When parents cross the line and start taking over their child’s responsibility, feeding issues and control struggles can start to arise. The pressure can also override your child’s natural instincts of appetite, internal hunger and satiety, and lead to many concerns as they get older.

When introducing new foods to your child, be considerate and not catering to their every request. Ensure that there is always a SAFE food (food your child has previously learned to like) present on the plate as this lets children still satisfy their hunger with a trusted food, and the 'not yet liked' foods appear less scary to consume.

Dealing With Dessert

As a parent, we may handle particular situations in relation to our own upbringing and experiences as a child.
Ask yourself:

• How were desserts handled in your home when you were a child?
• Were there desserts in your house?
• Were desserts a treat if you finished your plate?
• Were desserts a normal part of your routine?

Satter advises to put a small portion of dessert on the table with the meal. At the beginning, it is very likely that your kids will eat the dessert first. However, as they learn to trust that you are NOT going to take the dessert away, they will learn to wait until the end of the meal. This removes the stigma from dessert as a ‘forbidden food’, neutralises some of its ‘specialness’ and reduces behaviours such as bingeing when it is available, or sneaking it into their rooms. Your child will learn to consume enough dessert to satisfy themselves.

Encouraging our kids to taste, smell and touch food should be the extent of our request. Skip the nagging, authoritarian demands and the bribing and let your kids do their job with eating. Trust that they will honour their hunger and adapt good eating habits on their own. As hard as it may be, try to remove yourself from the emotions that can come with worrying about the amount of food they eat. It will take time, but having a set routine in place will contribute to the changes of eating.